


Part one - finding what one  isn’t  looking for

by Flamme19



Series: New beginning with an old enemy [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, BAMF Carl Grimes, Caring Negan (Walking Dead), Confused Carl Grimes, Enemies to Friends, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Post-Season/Series 06, Walkers (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamme19/pseuds/Flamme19
Summary: The old injustices were not to be forgotten. So Carl decides to solve one old thing once and for all.Inspiration by this post on Tumblr - https://bit.ly/3aXZ0pj
Relationships: Carl Grimes/Negan
Series: New beginning with an old enemy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825624
Comments: 12
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

Carl sometimes did not believe how much has changed in recent times.  
His dad remembered the time when everything was all right. When they lived at home with his mom. But Carl was slowly forgetting. For him, memories were full of survival, fighting with walkers.

He was a child of the Apocalypse.

Perhaps that might be the reason why he didn't like what he saw around him. The whole action began after he managed to survive his failed attempt to kill Negan. Government troops began to appear in the area. People were spreading that the government had been working on a cure for many years in secret.  
Finally, they were successful.

After a few weeks, the vaccination of all survivors began. At first, Carl liked the idea. It meant that even if the walker bit you, you didn't die. And another, after death, no one turned into another pedestrian. It was supposed to be a victory that everyone had been waiting for so long.

Then a large area was built near Alexandria, bounded by a high fence, guarded by the army. Everyone who wanted to integrate into the new world lived there. Carl initially did not understand why some would refuse. It was a chance to start again.  
But then he realized that not everything was so great.

Everyone was forgiven for their actions during the apocalypse. Carl saw people do terrible things. And not everyone did it just to survive. The same people who killed, raped and tortured, now lived in the neighborhood a few houses next door. And none of them was punished. Carl disagreed.

Another change was the ban on weapons. If you wanted to live in a new world, you couldn't be armed. Of course, the army had an exception. Carl felt defenseless without his weapon, and he felt sick.

Carl once heard from his father that Negan had stayed abroad. Not surprised, he couldn't imagine that the killing psychopath could adapt to any system again. His dad also disagreed that Negan should not be punished for what he did to their friends. But in the end he just shrugged. Dad's opinion has always been that they should focus on the future and let the past be.

But Carl had often felt that the past was all he had. He could not walk around the new squares, greet people and talk about growing vegetables. He often went to the border to look at landscapes. Occasionally he managed to see pedestrians. The government has decided to leave the pedestrian to its fate. Perhaps it was also an incentive for people not to stay in the wild and return to new settlements.

He tried to be grateful. His family was safe now. They could walk outside without worrying about everyone coming together tonight. Little Judith could have had the childhood she deserved and Carl didn't have. Thanks to his previous work, his father took the lead in the movement that represented the police. He walked through the settlements, keeping order.

Before this change, his father was fighting for survival, now investigating whether someone had stolen a basket full of apples.

Carl couldn't. He could not adapt.

He tried for weeks, maybe months. People around him began a new life, forming families. Carl could only think of how many people died.

He saw Meggie start dating a man who had a vegetable stall on the market. Did she forget Glenn? How did he die? And why didn't it bother anyone? Glenn was their friend. A friend who died absolutely useless death, just like Abraham.

And their killer was close to them, unpunished, hiding in the lawless wilderness, untouchable. In the settlement, Carl could do nothing against him. But out there, nothing was there. People were carrying weapons there, fighting, as he had before.

Carl remembered his attempt at killing Negan. From the beginning, the plan was doomed to failure. He was naive then. Negan had too many faithful followers around him who were willing to sacrifice for him. Carl was lucky then that Negan hadn't killed him while he was lying poorly on the ground.

But now Negan was alone. At least that's what Dad said. He received news from people who came from outside to trade settlements. Barter was the only thing they could do in a world without money. And wishes and people from outside often came to the gate where they offered something for something. And there someone told Dad about Negan.

He was supposed to live about half a day by car from the settlement. Small cottage, alone, armed. Carl had no doubt that even if he wasn't armed, Negan was still very dangerous.

Yet it did not prevent Carl from devising a plan.


	2. Chapter 2

Getting out of the house for so long proved a bigger problem than Carl had originally thought. He usually went for a walk, an hour or two. Now he needed not only to disappear for more than a day, but he had to get to the car.

The car turned out to be easier in the end. Every week an older couple arrived at the gate with vegetables and fruits. The locals took food from them and gave them medication and ammunition. And this couple was always coming by car. The question was how to get through the guards at the gate. Officially, it was not allowed to leave the settlements to avoid endangering the population. According to Carl, it was nonsense. If he had a weapon, he wouldn't need an army behind his ass to protect him.

Weapon. Nobody was in the arms of the weapon, the army also took care of it. But Carl was lucky about one thing - he was the son of a cop. And this modern police had weapons. Though only a few pieces if anything had happened, Carl believed that they would not miss one rifle.

,,Hi Dad..."  
Surprised, Carl's dad looked up from the papers he was working on.  
"Carl ... I thought you were home?"  
Carl shrugged and looked around at the makeshift police station. It was a small wooden building built by the army. Inside were a few tables for the new policemen, a small cell for people who did something. And behind the locked doors were stored weapons.  
Carl thought for a long time how to get to them. He knew well that only his father had the key, as a police commander. He also knew the key was hidden in the building. Carl's dad always defended it by not wanting to lose the key. And that he was well hidden. Because who would look for an armory key in a medicine cabinet, hidden in a medicine bottle?  
Maybe only Carl.  
"I thought I'd go look at you. How's it going today? "  
,,Boredom. Everyone is nice, so we just fill in paperwork. The military likes to keep track of who's here and what he's doing. "  
Carl nodded and headed for the small makeshift kitchen.  
“I brought some apples. Do you want too?"  
“Sure, I'll take it. What about Judith? "  
Carl began cutting apples.  
,,She is nice. She found some friends among the other children. She lost a soft toy in the morning, we had to look for him for an hour. "  
Carl's daddy grunted in agreement and continued to write. Carl looked at the chopped apples and then at the knife he held.  
He took the knife without hesitation and cut it lightly over his palm. The wound began to bleed immediately.  
,, Damn! "I cut my hand!" Carl shouted, throwing the knife on the table.  
"Are you okay?" His dad asked carefully and started to get up from the table. "You want help?"  
,, No, it's okay. I just need to bandage it. Where's your first aid kit? "  
,, In the lower cabinet. Are you really okay? "  
Carl hid a small smile as he found the medicine chest. And with it the armory key.  
,, I'm fine, don't worry. A little cut won't stop me. "

Carl just needed to wait for his dad to walk. Carl waited five more minutes after he left. And then he went to the armory.

There wasn't much. The army seemed to keep most things to themselves. Carl pulled the bag from the shelf into which he hid his rifle and bullets. Then he noticed that his weapon lay on the shelf. He recognized her now, only by engraving his initials in the handle. Carl could not resist the surge of nostalgia. This is how a weapon saved his life many times. When he had to surrender it to the army, it was as if he had gotten rid of himself. He took it without hesitation and, for sure, another charge.

You couldn't be too prepared.

Carl waited to hear about the theft of weapons. But all day his dad was gone. Outside, nothing strange was happening, the army did not seem to be looking for anything. Carl had a bag of weapons across the border, close to their house.

Thanks to a local boy, Carl found a hole in the fence that the locals made there. In the end, Carl seemed not the only one who didn't like the restricted movement. And then Carl crept out one night and found an old well near the settlement. He simply tied the bag to the rope and lowered it. He couldn't afford to have those weapons at home.

In the end, all that remained was to get out. And that turned out to be something Carl couldn't explain. There was no reason why he should have disappeared for at least one day, he had a reason and did not raise suspicion. In addition, the day was approaching when the car was supposed to appear at the settlement. So Carl did the most sensible thing he could think of.

He wrote a letter to his dad explaining that he needed to disappear for a few days, packed his things and ran away.

Carl picked up his gun bag and set off for the road where the elderly couple drove to the village by car. He simply waited for them to deal with everything they needed and then stood up. It was a bit risky to wait for him to ride, but Carl was ready to bargain.

As he waited, after a few hours of waiting, the car sounded on the road. As soon as they saw Carl, the man stopped and the woman pulled the window.  
"What are you doing here alone, boy, where are your parents?"  
,, They live a bit from here but on foot it is far away. Could I come with you? "  
The woman nodded to the back door of the car.  
“Sure, we have to help each other. We drive quite a long time, our house is almost half a day's journey. I hope you don't mind. "  
"Certainly not, thank you for the ride," Carl smiled and got into the car quickly.  
He didn't expect it to be that easy. The new home seemed to have some advantages in the end. He knew he should feel a little guilty about lying to those people. But the truth was that the prospect of revenge was much stronger than the guilt for a little meaningless lie.


	3. Chapter 3

The older couple didn't bring him to his destination. But Carla didn't mind walking a bit. At least he had time for his plan.

It all seemed easy in the settlement. Reaches the place, finds Negan, finishes what he started then and gets home.

But then things got a little complicated.

First, he did not have the exact position of Negan's house. And he didn't know if Negan was really alone. If there were any other Saviors with him, he could go home right away. Carl was not naive and did not want to die this time.

Second, what was he planning to do? Just kill him? Tell him something? He had so many questions before. He wondered why Negan was doing what he was doing. Was he still interested?

Suddenly he saw a small white house in the distance. It looked innocent. The chimney was smoking. A basket full of corn stood at the door. It looked like an ordinary farm. But he hadn't seen Negan anywhere. Where could he be?

Surrounding the house was surrounded by dense forest. Convenient for Carl to look around unnoticed.

From a closer look the house looked relatively well-kept. The door was locked, there were shutters in the windows, so Carl couldn't see inside. Negan seemed not to be home.

Carl walked slowly around the house. Around the house lay a few pieces of agricultural equipment, behind the house was a small field. Carl thought of trying to open a window. Everything was closed. He could wait. To hide somewhere, find shelter with a good view.

Finally he hid in a nearby bush. There was enough room to sit and wait.

It took a long time. The sun was high on the horizon. The surrounding was quiet. But then he heard it - footsteps.

Negan appeared nearby, carrying a bag over his shoulder. Carl had a strange sense of satisfaction. Negan looked exactly like the last time he had seen him. Carl was secretly glad that at least something remained the same in this world.

Everything looked normal. Negan put the sack at the door, pulled out a few dead rabbits and entered the house. Carl was still waiting to see something suspicious. But nothing happened.

What exactly did he want to do? Break in? Start shooting? He could imagine what would happen if his dad knew about it.

Carl finally pulled his gun out of his bag, checked the bullets, and headed for the house.

The door was unlocked. Carl quietly opened it and looked inside. The house was dark. Carl looked around, looking for the other man. But he saw no one anywhere. He walked slowly in and closed the door behind him.

There was some furniture inside. Chairs with table in small kitchen. Old sofa by the fireplace. Lighted fire. Carl crouched in the corner of the door. Just walk through the house quietly and find Negan.

After a few steps, it turned out to be an unnecessary plan

"Holy hell, who came to visit ..."

Carl wanted to stand, but the head of the weapon pressed against the top of his head.

"Do you have a reason for breaking into my house?"

"It has been unlocked."

,, Look, you haven't lost anything of your charming character since the last meeting. Get up!"

Carl slowly got to his feet and turned to face Negan. He looked straight into the barrel of the shotgun that was aimed at his head.

"Do you want to tell me why you came?"

Carl swallowed and looked at the gun that was lying at the door. There was no way he could get to her.

Negan looked toward the door.

,, Oh, I see. You've come to finish what you failed last time. Fucking magical, really. Does your dad know about it? "

"Don't talk about him," Carl snapped.

“Come on Carl, it's not polite. And now, I want the fucking answer. Why are you here?"

,, Otherwise what? You will kill me? Like my friends ?! "

Negan frowned.

,,Revenge? You disappointed me a little. I thought with your new life you forgot the old wrongs. "

“Should I forget that you killed two of my friends? And that you escaped punishment? "

“There are no punishments if you don't remember. We all have amnesty, "Negan said with a grin.

"You do not deserve mercy!"

“And you decide what you deserve? Or did you forget that you killed a few people? Yes, yes, our little serial killer. Maybe your dad would lock you under lock as well. "

Carl gritted his teeth angrily.

,,I am sick of you!"

“Yes, still charming. You better tell me, why don't I shoot you and bury your body in the garden? "

"Dad knows where I am," Carl blurted. "He'll be looking for me."

Negan didn't seem to believe his lies. Instead, he nodded toward the door.

"Go to the door and open it."

Hesitantly, Carl obeyed. Once the door opened, Carl would literally be kicked out of the house. He landed heavily on the ground, unable to subdue a painful cry.

"Take it as a service," Negan shouted from behind him. “Go home and start a new life. Don't fuck with other people's things. Forget where I live. It will be the best for both. "

Carl watched helplessly as Negan closed the door and locked it.

Shit.


	4. Chapter 4

Carl waited for anything. Shouting. Fight. Gunfight. Not this.

Carl managed to escape from the house as quickly as he could. He needed to get home. But then he realized he had a problem.

He had no way to get home. It would take at least a day of walking, maybe more. The plan to get home wasn't entirely on the subject of the day. He was thinking about getting to Negan. He didn't have much time to think about what would happen next.

But Negan was still alive. He was home, behind a locked door. And still without punishment.

It was a night. Carl hid in a crumbled shed a few dozen meters from Negan's house. The people who brought him here had another way to the settlement in a week. All that remained was to walk back. Answer a lot of questions about where he was.

Or stay.

And that's what Carl did. He hid, determined to wait for the evening. And then try again. This time he knew what it looked like inside the house. It was enough to wait for Negan to fall asleep.

On his way back to the house, he wondered why he was so obsessed with the thought of Negan's punishment. Maybe it was because it was all he could do alone. Just like they did before. No police, courts, waiting for a decision. Everyone knew what he did. What then had to be waited?

Carl remembered his friends again. He didn't understand how everyone could move on. Forget everything that happened. Find new partners, start families. His dad did the same. He raised little Judith with Michonne. They had a small house, food on the table. Why couldn't the others have it?

Thanks to people like Negan.

Carl knew Negan wasn't the only one doing horrible things at the time. Almost everyone did them. Negan, however, was always a little odd for Carl.

It had been a few months since his first attempt at killing Negan. But Carl saw it as clearly as it was yesterday. As Negan forced him to take off his bandage, sing a song to him.

He made him see things differently.

Carl thought a little differently from the meeting. Negan was the first to tell him not to hide what he was. He understood him. Carl hated it. Maybe that's why he wanted to kill him. To erase the memory of what it might have been. And he became what his friends and family became. To live a new life. And not to be awake at night with the horror of not knowing where the weapon is.

Carl walked slowly to the back of the house. He hoped he would be able to get in again, better this time. But he didn't expect Negan to sit on the porch of the house.

"I think I told you to leave ..."

Carl quickly pulled out his gun and pointed it at Negan. He glanced around quickly, but then wondered that Negan was unarmed.

"Don't worry, I don't have anything with me this time," Negan waved his hand.

"Why are you sitting here?"

"Can't I sit on the stairs to my house?"

Hesitantly Carl came closer. He was silent.

“Can I have one question, Carl? Why did you come back? "

,,You know it. You killed ... "

,, Yes yes, I killed your friends. That's what you said. But they were not just your friends. Yet it's just you, alone. "

Carl had no idea what to answer. The truth was that the people around him had lost their revenge. They started new lives. But Carl had nothing in the new world. Everything he had remained here. Beyond the borders. Where the only law was the law of survival.

"Carl ... Are you alone on this fucking vengeance trip?"

He didn't want to admit it. But it was true.

Negan slowly rose and showed his empty hands.

,, If you want to shoot me, do it. But otherwise I'm going in. "

Carl picked up his gun again and aimed it. Just pull the trigger.


	5. Chapter 5

"I ... I don't know why I want to do it ..."

"I think you're more fucked than you thought."

"You're not helping me."

"That's not what I intended."

Carl was sitting on a sofa inside Negan's house, watching the fire in the fireplace. Negan was in the kitchen preparing some food.

He didn't understand why he didn't do it. He had a chance. Just pull the trigger. But he was still sitting here, a weapon hidden in a holster.

“You should go home. It's not safe here. "

"It wasn't secure anywhere before."

Negan sat on the couch beside him.

"Carl, I get it. You're dissatisfied with how it turned out. You hate to see how bad bad guys win. But what do you want to do? Take revenge on anyone who has pissed you or hurt you in your life? "

,, What do you know about it?

"You're not the only one who lost someone, boy."

,,Yeah? Has anyone killed your friends in front of you, too? ”Carl asked ironically.

Negan frowned.

“We all lost someone. You should focus on the future. The pursuit of old injustices will not get you anywhere. "

"Since when do you speak so responsibly?"

"Since I found out that revenge has no value."

Carl raised an eyebrow. Since when would Negan reject the chance of revenge? It was he who killed two of his friends precisely because they broke the rules. Because they killed his men. Wasn't that revenge?

"You said there were rules," Carl said.

Negan nodded slowly. It seemed to Carl that he suddenly looked much older, more tired.

,, They were. But I didn't count on the army that would invade our home and kill everyone he meets. "

Carl looked up in surprise.

,,Army?"

,,You do not know? I was wondering why you're not celebrating it as a big fucking victory! "

"What the hell do you mean?"

“Have you seen any Savior? Except me?"

Carl shook his head slowly. It was true. His dad had spoken of Negan, but he never mentioned anyone else.

"I thought ... You were hiding somewhere. Outside the Sanctuary. "

“Almost no one remained. The army invaded the Sanctuary one night. There were dozens of them, armed. It was a fucking massacre. A few people managed to escape from there, including me. But I've never seen them again. What I heard from the people I met along the way, they did it with other groups too. They seem to have found us unable to adapt to the new world. "

Adaptation to the new world. That was the sentence Carl had often heard from the soldiers in the settlement. It was a phrase people said to each other on the market.

"They couldn't ... They said they wouldn't punish anyone ..."

Negan laughed loudly.

“And you believed it? Carl, you're a smart kid. That's why I was hoping you'd move on. Did you really think our new beautiful government would let dozens of raders live behind their fucking fence? That they will not punish anyone? Why do you think I live here? "

"I thought you didn't want to live with others in the settlement ..."

"Trust me, I'd rather live in a settlement and watch your dad every morning than in the woods. But I believe that once they see me, they'll shoot me on the spot. And I'm not interested in supporting them. If this is their new world ... They can stuff it in their ass ... "

Carl was silent for a moment. He was surprised at what he heard. It wasn't that he thought Negan was never lying. But he didn't lie to him. At least he never knew. What if the new government really did such things?

"But the Savior were raiders," Carl murmured softly. "Before it all went to hell, they would end up in jail ..."

“Do you really believe that they were all murderers? There were people who took care of the gardens, cooked, made supplies. Do you think they deserved to die? Just because they were with us? "

Carl didn't know what he was thinking. Was it possible that he saw it all too black and white? That there were things the army didn't tell them? So far they have claimed that their only goal is to maintain safety from walkers from outside. Dad said the same thing.

"I don't know ... I meant ..."

Negan waved his hand and stood up.

,, You can sleep here tonight. I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to kill me while sleeping. You'll go home in the morning. "

"Why are you helping me?" Carl blurted.

Negan, however, went to the next room without answer.


	6. Chapter 6

In the morning, Carl got something to eat, a compass, and an order to go south and never return. Carl had a few objections. However, they were rejected by closed doors and the sound of the lock.

So he went.

He reached the settlement in the evening. He met pedestrians a few times. He met a couple of soldiers passing by in the car twice. Every time Carl hid behind the nearest tree and waited until he was gone. When he finally reached the settlement, it began to dim. With a little trouble, he found a hole in the fence, avoiding the troop patrol, who walked around the settlement and got home through the back door.

There, right in the kitchen, he ran into Dad.

,, Carl! Where the hell have you been! "

Carl sighed and threw the bag down.

,,Outdoors."

His dad frowned.

“I understood that from the letter. I wonder what "urgent thing" you had to deal with. "

Carl suspected that the truth would not be very appropriate.

,, I ... I just wanted a moment outside the settlement. It's the same thing around here. Every day and I ... I needed to get out ... "

Dad nodded. There was a moment of silence in the kitchen.

"I understand Carl, really. But we have a new life now. And you have to learn to live in it. "

"I ... The army that is here ... Will they still be here? Or will they leave us alone? "

"They're here to protect us," his dad said with a frown. "You know that."

"We used to defend ourselves, even without them," Carl said

“Previously, a lot of things were different. But this is a new beginning. Aren't you glad? That we are all safe? "

"Of course I am," Carl sighed.

,,I'm glad. Go sleep. We have to market in the morning. "

Without a word, Carl nodded and went to his room.

Sleep was the last time Carl was in the mood. And so it was the following days. It was as if talking to Negan had opened his eyes.

The soldiers didn't look like they were going anywhere. They had a newly built house in the settlement, where most of them lived. They were still in charge of the local police, distributing supplies that brought trucks to the village once in a while. At that time Carl noticed that not everyone got the same.

His family was getting enough. Food, medical supplies, things for little Judith. Apparently it was related to the fact that his dad was a cop. Others were not always lucky. Carl personally saw the couple living a couple of houses away from them pleading with the soldiers for extra food. They were refused because their brother was locked up for theft of food. Carl didn't understand it then. But now, now it seemed more clear.

One day Michonne asked. She told him she didn't know why different people had different options. But it is now.

Carl was suddenly disliked by the possibility that there would be more and more rules in their world that would determine how to live. Carl wanted to live his own way, as it has been until now. Not to follow the decisions of people who knew nothing. Who didn't know what they had to go through to survive.

In time, Carl realized he was the only one who thought of it.

He spoke to several people in the settlement. Small conversations in the market while for the family exchanged goods for goods. He asked how they lived. What they think of the supply they received through the army. Most told him she was satisfied. They were glad someone had taken care of them. And perhaps a little horrified at the idea that they would have to go back to the times when they had to fight for their lives. No one seemed to mind that they were not allowed to go outside. Why too. There was nothing left for them anyway.

Carl welcomed the idea of fighting for his life. He was tired of sitting at home, playing the happy family. As if everything was all right. Nothing was right for him. If it were, he wouldn't keep the kitchen knife under his pillow. Nobody knew about it, not even Dad.

One day Carl had enough. It was like the pressure he felt inside his head. He couldn't just sit at home and take care of the household while Michonne was out with little Judith and Dad was at work.

So he waited for everyone to sleep at night. He packed some food, water, weapons. He left Dad on the table with a brief letter explaining. He didn't believe his dad would understand. But he didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.


	7. Chapter 7

It was another day of walking. Carl had several times to realize how dangerous and stupid his plan was. This did not stop him from continuing.

Carl glanced cautiously around. He stood at the door for a moment trying to organize his thoughts. It was a stupid idea. Very stupid.

Yet he finally tapped the door.

As soon as Negan opened the door, he sighed in exasperation.

"Didn't I tell you to get out and never come back?"

"Yeah, you said that," Carl nodded hesitantly.

"So what the fuck do you want?"

"I ... Maybe I need to stay some days, a few days ..."

Negan crossed his arms.

"Do I look like a hotel owner?"

"I can help," Carl blurted.

"Great, you can make me a housewife," Negan grinned.

"At least you'll have someone to talk to," Carl said. "You like listening to the sound of your voice."

Negan was silent for a moment. Finally, with another sigh, he stepped aside and let Carl enter.

Carl was a housewife. At least Negan laughed at him almost every day. Carl refused with a raised middle finger. Maybe it would also have an effect. But at that moment he was standing by the fire, cooking food from the rabbits Negan had caught in the forest.

Carl expected to hate it. It was the same thing he did at home. Play at home, take care of food. Sometimes he even washed clothes. But nothing like that happened.

Negan was gone. He left over a few hours to go hunting. Carl just imagined the other rabbits in disgust.

That day Carl decided to make a small gardening attempt. Behind the house was a piece of meadow that could be turned into another field with a little effort.

Carl sometimes wondered why he liked doing things he hated in the settlement. Maybe it was the absence of rules and regulations? He could do whatever he wanted.

,,What does your sister do?"

,,How do I know?"

"That's it," Negan said, pointing at Carl with a bloody knife.

For half an hour, both of them were skinning rabbits. It was disgusting work, but Carl was told that if he wanted to live here, he would do what he needed. And so he did.

"What the hell do you mean?" Carl exploded. "You're talking nonsense again!"

,, You should be home with her! You've always protected her from the world, including me. And now you left her and left. "

,, What are you doing? Do you mind my presence?

,,No. I'm glad I'm not alone here. And if I leave out those evil stealthy looks you give me with your beautiful eye, it's cool. But you wanted to kill me a few weeks ago. Trust me, I love the change. But I don't understand why you gave up your life in a damn paradise and exchanged it for surviving here. You have a family there, Carl. Something you always fought for. I know it. I saw that look in your eye, back in the woods. You were just crazy thinking that your dad would be next. And now you let it be? "

"I couldn't stay there anymore," Carl whispered, putting his knife aside.

,,Why?"

"It wasn't right ... How people started new lives pretending it wasn't the same apocalypse as months ago ... The military deciding who gets what and who deserves what ... It's not right."

"The family knows where you are?"

"No ... I wrote a letter to Dad, but ... I didn't say where I was going. He doesn't know I found you. "

Negan seemed relieved.

"At least I don't have to worry that Rick will burst in and want to set you free."

"No, no ... I needed a moment away from all these people."

"And when will you want to come back?"

Carl looked into Negan's eyes. Maybe he just dreamed. But the sentence sounded a little worried. Strange.

"Are you afraid nobody will cook you?"

"You know I don't care."

Carl would never admit it aloud, but he knew it. He saw the glances Negan gave him. And he knew he was doing the same thing.

"I'll stay here for a while ... I want to find a place where I really belong ..."

"I'll be glad to help you," Negan nodded with a slight smile.


End file.
